Pop - Ch.11

“O plunge your hands in the water,

Plunge them in up to the wrist;

Stare, stare in the basin

And wonder what you’ve missed.”

-W.H. Auden

                Alekk stood in the hallway, just outside of Max’s room. Various nurses, doctors, and hospital personnel had walked past him. Some were whispering vocabulary he couldn’t understand, ignoring his presence completely. He didn’t seem to mind, however. Others would confront him, expressing their concern with flashy smiles and incessant head nods. This he was used to. None of his life was private – especially since Max had risen to fame. It made sense that practically the entire world now knew about this, that they were in the hospital.

                He enjoyed this moment being alone. So far it had been a couple minutes since anyone had passed by, and he liked how he could collect his thoughts for a while. He could sit here and stare out the window, not to be bombarded with the worried comments of Niv and Wes. He already had his own worries to tend to.

                As Alekk let his eyes wander the hallway for the millionth time, he was reminded of how much he really hated hospitals. The stark white walls, cold linoleum flooring, posters containing fake people with fake problems, the smell of sickness. It definitely wasn’t his first time being in a hospital, in fact he had been in one many times. He just remembered the first time too well, instances popping into his head as if it had just been yesterday…

12 years ago…

August 1996

                “Hey, you made it on the football team, right?” Alekk asked Niv as they walked home from school.

                “Yea, of course,” Niv replied. A year younger than Alekk, it was his first day of high school, and it couldn’t have gone more perfectly. Finally, he could relate to his popular athletic friend.

 Niv had never been lucky in anything that involved sports. Always when he was younger, Niv would get picked last. He just never had that athletic build. Not until this year anyways. It was as if something had finally kicked in. Suddenly his muscles cooperated in unison, his legs had grown longer, and his arms no longer imitated strings of spaghetti. He could run, and boy could he run fast. He was certain he was faster than even Alekk now.

                Alekk snickered.

                “Well with you getting on the football team, and with me booby-trapping Mark’s locker, we are set to have a sweet year.”

                Niv smiled. Alekk slipped the Walkman out of his backpack, making sure that he didn’t have to rewind his Smashing Pumpkins cassette. He was about to place the headphones over his ears when he saw someone out of the corner of his eye.

                “Well shoot. Speaking of the devil.” Only he didn’t say “shoot.”

                “YOU!” bellowed Mark, the 6 ½ foot tall high school senior – also known as the school bully. Alekk had discussed with Niv at one point that Mark was probably held back a few years, not that him being old for a senior was much of Niv’s concern at the moment. All he could do was stare at Mark with pure horror as the muscled giant started marching towards them.

                “Niv…,” said Alekk, “RUN.”

                That was all the direction Niv needed. He and Alekk tore through the trees, not mattering so much as to where their feet landed, just so long as they could successfully outrun Mark.

                Just as Niv had assumed earlier, he had run past Alekk, yet he knew he couldn’t stop and wait for him. He kept running, but looked back just in case. Alekk had stopped running and was wheezing, however Niv had noticed that Mark wasn’t necessarily after Alekk… he was after him. Niv was so tired as he strained himself into a full on sprint. It wasn’t enough though, Mark was gaining.

                He had almost cleared the trees when something sharp seemed to tug at his chest. It was an uncontrollable pain, the worst he had ever felt. The whole world seemed to pause for a moment as his legs gave out. He could feel the gravity-filled thud as his knee caps smacked onto the hard ground. Niv remembered gasping for air, the tops of the trees his last memory before his mind went blank.

                Alekk’s eyes widened in terror as he not only saw his friend Niv collapse mid-sprint, but as Mark hovered over him. He desperately fumbled around in his pockets for his inhaler – his wheezing getting out of control.

                “What did you do?” demanded Alekk, anger boiling in his veins. Mark was still standing there, looking over the now unconscious Niv. Alekk was regaining his strength. He wasn’t going to let Mark lay a finger on Niv, not if he could help it. He pushed himself off the ground, running to Niv’s side.

                Contrary to what Alekk has expected, Mark looked at Alekk in shock. For once he was paralyzed, but seemed to snap out of it as soon as Alekk had arrived.

                “I-I didn’t do it. I SWEAR.”

                The usually courageous Mark now looked full of fear.

                “Get away from him!” yelled Alekk.

 Mark backed away from Niv, dodging his gaze back and forth from Niv to Alekk before running away from the scene.

                Immediately Alekk pulled out his cellphone and called for an ambulance.

                Alekk waited in the hallway outside of Niv’s room for what seemed like hours. His hands were still clenched in fists, his knuckles white. He just wanted to make sure that Niv would be alive. The doctor still hadn’t come out of the room yet, and the anticipation was killing him. It was his entire fault. If it weren’t for him, Niv wouldn’t be in this situation. Alekk sighed. He didn’t know what he would do without his best friend. He tapped his foot to the beat of the song that was playing on his Walkman.

                His mother, noticing how worried he was, grabbed both of his hands for a moment. The warmth of her grasp calmed him instantly.

                “Hey. Alekk it will be okay,” she smiled, “Niv will be fine. Young men like you tend to bounce back from these things fairly quickly.”

                In any other circumstances, Alekk would have been caught dead to have his mom or dad within walking distance of him. But right now he needed someone. And that someone was usually Niv. He just wanted to know what was going on.

                As if the doctor suddenly had the desire to fulfill Alekk’s wish, he came out of Niv’s room with a serious look on his face. He walked straight to Alekk.

                “Would you like to know what caused your friend Niv to come to the hospital today? He said that it was okay to tell you.”

                Alekk nodded instantly. He tried to prepare his mind for any possible outcome, not really sure what it would require and what he could expect. The doctor looked back at Alekk, in an expression that could only be described as regret.

                “Basically, Niv’s heart is deteriorating. I highly recommend that he refrain from exerting himself with any sudden physical activities. He told me he likes football – that’s probably not an option for him now. So no sudden sprinting, no rollercoasters, nothing daring really. I went ahead and put him on the waiting list for a heart transplant, which is unfortunately lengthy. If he doesn’t receive a transplant, the chances of Niv surviving past the age of 25 are slim. That is unless he manages to snag a better spot on the list, which would require quite a large sum of money… too much for both of your families to gather I presume.”

                Alekk angrily shoved past the doctor, slamming the door to Niv’s room in his face. He could hear his mother arguing outside in the hallway.

                “Alekk,” gasped Niv, his voice weak and hoarse. He patted next to his bed, where a nearby chair sat. Seeing Niv like this allowed the doctor’s advice to kick in. It was all Alekk could do to keep a straight face.

                “I am so sorry, Niv. I should have been the one in this bed, not you. It just doesn’t make any sense. Why would Mark go after you, anyway? I’m the one who booby-trapped his locker.”

                Alekk stared down at his hands, but was shocked when he heard Niv laugh. He looked up in confusion. Niv was slightly flushed, making it obvious that he needed to get something off his chest.

                “Oh I know exactly why. I don’t think any of your pranking stood a chance, really.”

                “What did you do?” asked Alekk in utter surprise. Niv was always well-behaved. What could he have possibly done? Niv only flushed more, another bought of laughter escaping.

                “I uh, kissed his girlfriend,” smiled Niv, “I couldn’t help it.”

                Alekk didn’t know whether to laugh with Niv or yell at him. Either way the whole situation was pretty unbelievable. Niv kissing Mark’s girlfriend. That would make him a legend for his entire high school stay. Alekk decided to join in Niv’s laughter.

                “That’s it. We’ve got to get you on a better spot on that list. I’ve gotta help you, Niv.”

                Little did the both of them know, but a year later Alekk would become a pop sensation, his fame leading to large amounts of money… perfect for pulling Niv ahead on the heart transplant list. Alekk never became famous for his own wants – it was for Niv.

                I had been up for a while. I had just finished lunch, which was a weird scenario in itself. The doctor watched me suspiciously the entire time, enquiring over every single bite I took. It was just lunch. I didn’t get it.

                I had just smothered honey on a biscuit I was about to eat when the doctor plucked it from my hands.

                “You uh, probably don’t want to eat that.” He threw it straight into the trash. I looked up at him in anger. My mind was decided right then and there. I did not like this doctor. Was the food poisoned or something? Did the cafeteria blatantly suck at making biscuits? I shoved my tray away in frustration. I was really hungry, though.

                “Well if you don’t mind, I have to pee. You could have just told me you forgot your lunch or something, geez.” I really did have to pee. I was surprised I had held it this long. I half ran over to the bathroom, absolutely making sure to lock the door behind me.

                What a weird doctor. I just wanted to get out of here. It wasn’t a big deal. Last night I obviously didn’t feel good, passed out, and ended up here. I was great now, so why wouldn’t they let me leave? Why did they insist on giving me a fatty cafeteria tray?

                After I came back in my room, I had noticed that the doctor was still there. This was odd. Usually doctors tend to tell you a few mind-boggling sentences that make you worried as heck, and then they go about their merry way.

                “Here, have a seat,” instructed the doctor. I looked at his name badge. Dr. Byers.

                “No thanks,” I retorted, “I’ve been in that bed since last night. I think I’m just going to stand right here for a while.”

                “Trust me,” said Dr. Byers, “you’re going to want to sit down with all that I have to tell you.”

                I don’t know if it was the look in his eyes or his last words of advice, but I listened and sat down in a nearby chair. It wasn’t the bed, but at least Dr. Byers looked content that I wasn’t standing anymore.

                 “So Ms. McKinley, from what you remember, last night you had two glasses of champagne, felt sick moments later, and then passed out in your living room. Is that correct?”

                “Yes,” I replied.

                “You are lucky. That was your body telling you how bad alcohol is for the baby. Thankfully you threw up whatever champagne you did have last night – once you got here. But I always want to stress with my clients how important it is not to consume alcohol while they are pregnant.”

                I couldn’t hear the rest of what he was mumbling about. It was like a freight train hit me. My mind kept running over what he said over and over again. I couldn’t breathe. I just wanted him to stop talking.

                “Stop, please,” I demanded, “that’s not possible. I’m, I mean I was on-,” I couldn’t say anything more. I felt like I was choking. As if the hospital was a strange enough place, now I felt even more alienated. The doctor looked at me in surprise.

                “Oh I thought you knew! You’re a little over six weeks now. Not everything is one hundred percent effective, Ms. McKinley. Anyways, here’s your report – I have to go. Did you want any of your visitors to come in?”

                “No,” I replied, “I just need to be alone right now.”

                “Hey, did anything change?” Wes asked as he came up to Alekk. He and Niv had just finished eating lunch in the cafeteria.

                “Not really,” Alekk replied, “the doctor left but said that we’re not allowed to go in the room.”

                Wes sighed in relief.

                “Well did he forget to say that she was alive? Usually that just means that Max is fine and wants to be alone for the moment.”

                “Oh thank goodness,” breathed Alekk, letting his legs slide him down the wall onto the floor. As much as it was a relief to hear that Max was alive, he didn’t really have the strength to stand any longer. He had been standing outside her room all night.

                “Alekk, go get something to eat,” instructed Niv. His face was full of worry.

                “No,” responded Alekk, “I’m not going until I see her.”

                Suddenly the door to Max’s room opened.

                “Wes,” Max whispered softly. Alekk searched for her eyes, which were puffy and tear-filled as they glued onto her cousin. Wes quickly stepped up to her, as if he was shielding her from the rest of the hospital. Before the two went into the room, Max scanned around for Niv and Alekk, her eyes filled with fear as they found both.

                As soon as I had shut the door, my body practically broke down and collapsed into Wes’ embrace. Tears flooded out of my eyes like earlier, only it was ten times worse. He was the first person I had to tell, and at the moment I knew would be the most forgiving. He held me there for what was probably a half an hour, letting me just cry out all of my frustration – my newly found fears. I looked up at Wes. It was clear he didn’t know what was going on, but at the same time it was like he shared my pain. He knew something was bothering me more than usual. It wasn’t like when my Aunt Karen had left us those years ago, or even when I ran away from Alekk’s home. It was something that could only change who I was for the rest of my life.

                “What is wrong, Max?” he asked.

                I told him everything.

                After more minutes had passed – after Wes had consoled me enough to stop crying, I sat in the chair next to him, my mind completely numb. I forced myself not to think about the whole of the situation. Until Wes spoke up.

                “You don’t know who the father is, do you?”

                Instantly, tears gushed out of my eyes again, his question sinking in. He was right. I felt so entirely stupid. What must he think of me? Had I turned into a version of Aunt Karen without realizing it? I cried even harder. I was not Aunt Karen. I loved the two men outside of my room. I wasn’t her. Wes quickly came back with another box of tissue.

                “Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, “did you want to find out?”

                “Yes,” I piped.

                I had never been as scared as I was in that moment. I would have to tell Niv and Alekk everything. I knew none of us wanted this yet. And because I wanted to know who the father was, another factor was being weighed in. It wouldn’t be right to raise this little boy or girl in the current living situation I was in now – someone would have to leave. But there was always the chance that I would be left alone, for in all reality, both of them could leave me behind.

                A couple of hours later found Niv and Alekk awaiting the paternity test results. Alekk had finally found something to eat. The first couple of hours had been spent sitting in Max’s room, consoling her, and yet trying to soak up the now very true reality that within a few moments he could basically be a father. The thought sent shivers down his spine as he stood in the hallway with Niv.

                It never occurred to him. He always assumed that eventually something would happen to make Maxine choose between him and Niv, and that eventually she would grow older and start a family with someone. He didn’t think that moment would be now, that the order would be reversed. He guessed that it really didn’t matter when the possibility of being a dad would take place, in fact the thought of it all was like a welcomed added bonus. But then there was Niv.

                “You wouldn’t leave her if it was yours, would you?” asked Alekk.

                “No, never,” replied Niv, an expression of surprise brewing. He looked back down at the floor, pretending to be occupied with something.

                “Would you, Alekk?”

                “Not a chance.”

                “I wonder why she thought that we would leave her, then.”

                “Think about it Niv,” stressed Alekk, “her aunt who took care of her for sixteen years abandoned her out of nowhere. It’s not that hard for her to imagine that we could, too.”

                “I guess,” replied Niv, “what would you do if you weren’t the father?”

                Sudden jealousy hit Alekk like a rock. He hadn’t thought about it that way before. Suddenly his adrenaline kicked in and he was nervous. In a matter of minutes, one of the outcomes could be his, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for either. But to not be the father would mean that he wouldn’t be involved in Maxine’s life. That thought alone was too painful to think about. He wasn’t ready for this. Why did he agree with everyone to have the test done today? His instantly knew what he would have to do if the child wasn’t his, but the thought slipped out of his mouth before he could catch it.

                “I would have to leave – I would leave you both alone so you could start a normal life.”

                “I would do the same thing,” chimed Niv, smiling weakly. The impending reality had stuck to them like glue. Too bad they couldn’t get a chance to breathe before Dr. Byers was seen walking towards them, a piece of paper in tow.

                It was as if everything was happening in slow motion, yet too fast at the same time. Dr. Byers handed Niv and Alekk the paperwork, proceeding to Max’s room to get her ready for discharge.

 

                “Me,” whispered Niv.

                Alekk watched as disbelief had shown on Niv’s face, followed by a smile that was absolutely real. He watched as Niv left him, walking into Max’s room, leaving him alone in the hallway. Alekk sucked in a big gulp of air as he stared into the bright sun that filtered in through the window, his world caving in. He had the riches, the houses, cars, and the fame. But between last night and this moment right now, he knew he had lost everything.

                Wes came out in the hallway a few minutes later, not sure how to approach Alekk in his encroaching depression. Alekk’s hazel eyes met with his. Once full of life, his now showed no sign.

                “You told me that if I told you how much I cared for Max, I would have to prove it,” Alekk said softly as he walked closer to Wes.

                “It’s me. I should have seen this coming. It’s me that has to leave her. I have to leave her so that they can be happy together. She’s going to be happy with him – with Niv. Because Niv’s a good guy.”

                “Wait,” Wes jutted, his arm reaching out for Alekk. Alekk flinched, pulling himself away.

                “I should have seen this coming,” he replied once more, before walking away.

 END OF CH.11