Pop - Ch.5

                It was just after breakfast and he was watching her wash the dishes. Every day for the past month – and always at this time – he would feel an almost unbearable pain. It was guilt, he guessed, for two months ago he never had the need to feel this way. It all started in fact, that month ago when Max told him of her disappointment.

                It had been a month now and Max had not shown him any hint of anger since that day. He didn’t get it. She still made him and Niv breakfast with no grudge. Not that he tried to provoke her. He didn’t want to feel that pang of guilt again. He hadn’t imagined to be in so much pain from one person except for what had those many dark years ago… the pain that he had managed to dull after all of these years.

                The pain of guilt had changed everything.

                It had been a month since I had seen Wes. Every part of my body ached to see him again. He was so skinny the last time I had seen him. I just wanted some proof to make sure he was alright. I was living in a bubble, it seemed. I knew very much the world I was in now, but as far as what was waiting on the outside, I had not a clue. That look on his face as we parted – it killed me.

                The less time I had to spend in this house, the better. Niv seemed to understand. He would take me down to the beach and we would spend most of our days swimming in the warm ocean. At first I was apprehensive, but Alekk didn’t even mind. He appeared to have his mind occupied with something else, so as long as I practiced my guitar and singing every now and then, he wouldn’t object. I think he knew that I didn’t exactly want to be around him.

                I hadn’t expected to be swimming so much, and it did take my mind off of things. Niv would buy me a couple of new suits and I would get better at swimming. I could hold my breath for almost a minute now, same as him. It was weird how Niv could make my day a thousand times better. One word from Alekk and my world would turn sour, yet Niv could flash me a glance of his sky-blue eyes and it was like whatever Alekk had said was irrelevant.

                We would actually talk about real things too, Niv and I. He would express his concern for Wes, and then tell me about the family he had back home. He said that they lived in the Midwest, same as I did. He missed them a lot. He told me it was hard to work for Alekk, because he would only see his family perhaps one week out of the entire year. But then he would take back his comment, almost worshipping the fact that Alekk was so good to him.

                What I really liked was the way Niv cared. He actually cared like a true gentleman. He would give me his sweater if I got cold. He would understand my opinion if I didn’t exactly want to dive to the bottom of the ocean to visit a nasty eel. Basically, he reminded me of Wes, when Wes and I would take care of each other. I could trust him.

                 I was getting dressed in one of my brand new bikinis when I heard a knock at the door. I quickly threw the dress I was going to wear over my head.

                “Oh good you’re almost ready!” said Niv as I let him in my room. I had gotten kind of used to this. Niv would come and get me before we both headed down to the beach. Though this time Niv had that odd smile on his face, the one where he looks as though he’s about to get in trouble. And that’s when I saw a pair of very expensive-looking car keys dangling from his hand. I gave him a look.

                “What are THOSE for, Niv?” I asked playfully. Certainly he was joking. Alekk would never let me far away from the house. Not if he didn’t even want me to see Wes. Niv gave me one of those soul-piercing stares. I might have been light-headed for a second there.

                “We’re not going to THIS beach today. We’re going to go to another beach. Come on, I’ll get the car started.” He started to run down the stairs.

                “Wait!”

                “What?” Niv asked as he appeared in my room again.

                “At least um, let me finish getting ready. It’s only been five minutes. Let me brush my teeth and stuff.” I requested sheepishly. I sounded retarded. Niv did his laugh.

                “Okay,” he simply replied, before bounding down the stairs again.

                I couldn’t believe it! I was getting out of this house – out of this neighborhood. I hurried to get ready as I secretly hoped that I would happen to run into Wes on our outing.

                Niv was waiting for me downstairs. Does everybody that works for Alekk look like a supermodel? I caught up to him. Alekk was still sitting at the dining room table from earlier this morning. For a split second I actually cared to wonder if he was okay.

                “Hey Alekk, we’re heading out. We’re going to be gone all day if you don’t mind.”

                I gave a suspicious look towards Niv. All day?

                “Nope,” replied Alekk. He didn’t even look over at us. He just sat there, thinking. What was running across his mind? I didn’t think I would ever have the time to understand. Niv and I then rushed out of the house and towards his car.

                Niv stopped walking when we got to what must have been the nicest car I had ever seen. It was shiny, red, and looked like it could reach way past 150 miles per hour. My jaw about dropped.

                “Niv, this is your car?! Are we really going to drive in that thing?” Niv did his laugh again.

                “Of course we’re going to drive in this ‘thing.’ How else are we going to get to the beach? Come on Max, just hop in.”

                Niv was giving me a strange look as I situated myself into his nice, fancy, expensive, jaw-dropping car. I made sure to only touch the car if I had to, which meant barely touching it at all. I took off my flip-flops, clutching onto them so that my feet wouldn’t add one speck of dirt onto the pristine floor. Once I finally sat in the passenger’s seat, I just sat there, not moving one hair of my body. I didn’t want to add creases into his perfectly molded leather seats.

                “You’re such a weirdo,” laughed Niv. I couldn’t help but laugh along with him. What a spectacle I had made myself! I could totally submit myself into the Guinness Book of World Records for slowest enter into a car, ever.

                “Hey now! The only car I’m used to is my aunt’s Toyota Camry from the 1980’s. Other than that, taxis I guess. There’s no way I’m going to allow myself to ruin this little beauty. Niv laughed again.

                Driving in the car with Niv was like a dream. The warm summer breeze was so welcoming. Niv was enjoying himself, too. I forgot that he was trapped in the house as much as I had been. It felt as though I was in a completely different world. The world where only Niv and I existed, where everything that was left on the sidelines was taken care of. Where everything was going to be okay.

                Why do I feel this way? Alekk thought. This on-going guilt was getting old. But still he couldn’t shrug it off. It had been over a month, and still he knew nothing about her. Max. Yet when she told him a month ago of her disappointment, he froze. Why? What had caught his attention?

                The thought of her crying over her beloved cousin, the way Niv had described. That was what caught his attention. He remembered crying like that years ago. Did her heart ache as his did every day? Finally he had found someone who could feel, really feel what it was like to be helpless. Everyone he met nowadays had everything they needed, laid out in front of them and yet still complained on how a certain thing was packaged. They would never understand him, much like he would never understand Max. He now felt guilty for taking her source of joy away.

                Funny how he, the joy of multiple girls around the world, could not suffice that same joy in a girl who used to have so much hope in him. He had to do something. But where to start on someone who hated your guts?

                You’re really going to do this? Alekk asked himself. He was now standing at the entrance of Max’s room. She was going to be gone all day, so this was perhaps his only opportunity. One last thought of remorse and he headed towards all of Max’s drawers, trying to find something – a hobby maybe – that she liked so that he could bring back a little of her happiness.

                It seemed like hours, but Alekk started piecing little bits of Max together. Poems were cut out and kept in a folder, all about hope and love. A bookshelf not only contained books, but plays. Her favorites, he assumed. A desk was littered with copies of screenplays from various movies and plays she had obviously seen. An award also on the desk proved that Max liked to act, and was quite good at it.

                It all made sense. While she wasn’t necessarily brilliant at playing the guitar, Alekk had found something she was good at and loved. And while he couldn’t necessarily cancel the concert for Max now, he could help put the spotlight on her with his various connections. He smiled. Maybe it wasn’t so hopeless for Max to have a happy ending after all.

                Niv and I swam practically the whole day. It was so nice to be away from people we knew for once. When we weren’t swimming we fished, and ate whatever we had caught. It was a very simple day. It reminded me of the days that Wes and I were alone, how we took satisfaction in providing for ourselves, in growing up all together.

                I thought about the drive over, before we had arrived at the beach. I could tell Niv was inching his hand closer to mine. I didn’t even have to look at him. I remembered I blushed a deep shade of red, before I pretended to brush my hair with the hand he was trying to reach. I’m not sure exactly why I did that. The feeling was nice, the almost-touch. It just didn’t seem like the right setting, or time.

                I was now standing on the shore, watching Niv all the while as he swam. He never looked so alive. Every now and then he would glance over to me and flash his smile. And my heart would skip a little. Like right now. Instead of continuing to swim however, Niv made his way over to the shore to join me.

                “Come on!” yelled Niv excitedly, “There’s a dance going on. We have to join it!” He grabbed my hand and ran over to where everyone else was dancing. I noticed I let him hold my hand, this time. For some reason, unlike those weeks ago, it felt as though I had just held onto a lightning bolt. Chills ran down my arm.

                Niv and I danced to the upbeat salsa music. I could tell none of us really knew how to dance, but it was okay. Even with all of the people there, it felt as though it were only us dancing together. We didn’t care that we didn’t know any dance moves. It didn’t matter how graceful everyone else was. All I knew was that I couldn’t help but stare into Niv’s eyes, which in the dark looked like sapphire. All he could do was stare back into mine. And I really didn’t want to look anywhere else.

                It was like I was afraid – of what I was getting myself into. But at the same time, the way I felt safe around him outweighed my feelings of being afraid. I began not to admire his eyes, or how he treated me, but him as a whole.

                Later, after the dancing had subsided, Niv went to go put everything back in his car and came back to me looking out towards the ocean.

                “Thank you for everything, Niv.” He smiled.

                “My pleasure,” he replied innocently.

                I paused for a moment. We were actually gone all day. I started to add things up. Niv was nice to me. He took me out in his really awesome car. We not only swam all day, but he took care of me. We danced. He tried to hold my hand twice, and succeeded once. That could only mean…

                “Niv?”

                “Yea?” he asked, not really expecting a question.

                “I couldn’t help but think. Were we… I mean did we just-,”

                “Go on a date?” laughed Niv slightly, “I was wondering when you were going to figure that out.”

                My heart pounded. It was like my brain wouldn’t wrap itself around what I had just heard. As I took that moment to decipher what Niv had just said, my face started to blush its unattractive shade of red again. I couldn’t believe it. And then I blushed some more. This wasn’t what I was expecting, but it wasn’t something that made me want to disapprove at all. In fact, I was quite happy. More than that. Very happy. I froze.

                “Are you okay, Max?” Niv asked, concerned at the face I was making apparently.

                “Why do you like me, Niv?”

                “Because,” Niv replied, “you’re the only person I can have a real conversation with. You’re simple, like me, and I mean that in the most admirable way. You care for your family, like I do. And plus, those face expressions you make are kind of cute.”

                Oh please, just let me melt. I couldn’t even feel the afternoon breeze. I couldn’t hear the ocean anymore. I couldn’t feel the sand beneath my feet. I could only see Niv.

                “Max, do you like me?” Niv asked, stepping in closer. Chills ran down my spine.

                “Yes.”

                 And then he brushed his lips so lightly against mine that they felt like air. I could have been caught in a snow blizzard, for that was how I felt. His hand found mine, and I didn’t let go. I never wanted to let go. Days could have gone by and we wouldn’t have known. We were in our own little world.

                As we parted, Niv smiled. It was a different now. I had never seen so much joy on his face. I guess I was smiling too. I could have stayed like this, exactly, forever. I would be happy like this, just so long as Wes ended up being happy too.

                After precious minutes went by with us just holding hands however, Niv and I both knew that the day was ending, and that we had to get back to the vacation house. So with one quick glance and smile, we both made our way back to Niv’s car and drove away from the beach.

                “Goodnight,” said Niv as he walked me upstairs to my room.

                “Goodnight, Niv. Thank you for today.”

                “My pleasure,” Niv smiled. He kind of stood there awkwardly. He knew what part of the date this was. It was always so gloriously portrayed in any romantic movie. Guy brings girl home from date. Guy wants to make lasting impression before leaving the girl to her parents. Then boom.

                I kissed Niv. It was my turn, anyways. I really did love it. He looked so shocked afterwards. He kind of just laughed at his shock and then shyly turned to go back down the stairs toward his room.

                I sighed. Oh Max, what did you get yourself into?

                Alekk had seen the whole thing. They didn’t notice him. Not as they barged into his house. Not as they flicked on the hallway lights. Not as they made their way up the stairs. Not even as they kissed. Niv didn’t even notice him as he went downstairs toward his room. That was forgivable, Alekk thought. Niv had lost all concentration. It made sense. It all did, actually.

                A new pain had welcomed itself to Alekk. It wasn’t in his heart, but in his mind. He had never felt so at war with himself until this moment. His blood boiled. He found himself slightly clenching his fists. Nothing he knew could make himself feel better. He could play music on the nicest guitar and it still wouldn’t do justice. He could win every award known to man and it still couldn’t return him back to normal, before this moment.

                But he did know this. That before he saw Niv kiss Max, he was okay. And now he wasn’t. He finally figured it out. Jealousy. Everyone he had met already knew what it was, how it felt. Jealousy was new to him, and he hated how exhausted it made him feel. He rubbed his head in defeat. He knew why jealousy fit so perfectly in his situation – in what he had been feeling for the past month.

                He was falling in love with Max.

 

END OF CH.5